Clowing Around

I'm just beginning to organize our hundreds of Florida vacation pictures. This one caught my eye this morning. Jani took it at Downtown Disney outside some shop. Very clever of Rowan to sneak under the hand of the statue and don't you just love Gemma's Snow White finery with her fanny pack? (-:

Fondue Feasting

I don't think it was a desire to relive my youth or join the retro craze that inspired me to host a fondue party for my 44th birthday - it just seemed like a blast of an idea! It turned out to be a blast in reality. No not "that" kind of blast - thank goodness, though one could fear that with nine cans of denatured alcohol and sterno all burning at once - the kind of blast that means very fun!!

Nearly 20 friends gathered to help celebrate, all gathered around nine pots of simmering goodness, laughing and having a grand time. It was great fun!!

We feasted-
*two cheese fondues - one of them made of soy to pleast our vegan friends and dairy-allergy daughter - I gotta say though that soy cheese fondue is rather scary - tasty but a bizarre consistancy.
*two Mongolian pots - one vegetarian with tofu and veggies to cook in the boiling broth and the other meat based with marinated chicken and veggies to cook in the boiling chicken stock.
*two B-B-Q pots - one tofu and one meatball.
*three dessert fondues - a dark chocolate with cinnamon, a white chocolate and a respberry.

Guests brought the dippers and I got the fun part of preparing the fondues. It was fun to mix 1970's cuisine with the dietary needs of our times (vegans, dairy-allergies, wheat/gluten allergies and a desire for a bit more healthy, whole grain foods). Jani and our friend Marsha were marvelous su chefs at my beck and call to get all the pots lit (yes, that's right nine flames all going at the same time) and set pots out.

Now where would one gather NINE fondue pots you might ask. That's a story in itself. I posted an email to my extensive connections here in town soliciting pots and really scored. We had one of our own - one I"d acquired at an auction at Rainbow Family Camp last year from a gal who'd gotten it as a gift and never used it. A friend lent us her original 1970's pot in its lovely orange color complete with wooden lazy susan to set the pot and sterno upon. Other friends let us their pot - a commitment cermony gift they'd never used and barely recognized as their own at the party. The best part was getting a lead on six pots from another lesbian couple we don't know who used them at their commimtent ceremony to hold soup at each guest table. They'd bought 18 of them on QVC!! They would have happily lended more, but six seemed sufficient to me!! They heartily encouraged us to give away a few of their pots as "door prizes" as they really couldn't imagine what they might do with 18 fondue pots!!

And, the great thing - the sterno doesn't have the pungent odor I remember from the 1970's. Some used sterno and most of the posts used denatured alcohol which had no odor.

We now have a Melting Pot restaurant in town, but I think our fondue feast surpassed what we would have experienced there with gathering so many of us together all amazed at what we could do with nine fondue pots, cooperative efforts and good compnay.

Rowan's Version of the Old "I Used to Have to Walk 5 Miles to School Uphill both Ways"

Last night we were preparing Gemma's wardrobe for today's trip to the nature center with her kindergarten class to see animals in winter. Her teacher had sent home a picture of a line-drawn kid properly attired for the trip with notes in the margins to help bring the kids on board with taking responsibilty for their own preparations with adult support.

Rowan saw the drawing on the bathroom counter and piped in with a voice of utter indignation - "Hey, when I was in kindergarten we had to DRAW our OWN picture of what to wear. These kindergaterners have it so easy. Their teacher gave them a picture already drawn. I can't believe it." This comment from a kid who loves to draw so I'm guessing she wasn't under too much stress when she had to draw her own picture.

I replied, "So, I suppose you had to walk to the Aldo Leopald Center too - 5 miles in the snow, uphill both ways." Clever to catch on to such teasing, Rowan replied with equal indignation as before, "that's right Mom."

Gemma, hearing our conversation got all worried. "You mean we have to walk there. I'm too little to walk there. I don't want to go! It's not fair to make kindergartners walk 5 miles."

We cleared that one up (hopefully). So we'll see if Gemma asked her teacher if they had to walk to the nature center today. I can imagine her relief when she saw they were going on school busses.

Perfect for You-Tube

You know there are those moments when I really wish I had a video camera at the ready...

We were at Disney. It was the end of the day - about supper time. An announcement came over the PA system about that evening's light parade. The annuncement ended with a tag line about Disney being the "happiest place on earth."

All around me there were scenes of less than happy Disney visitors. Kids of all ages who were over=stimulated, hungry, tired - some crying and some begging and some defying any parental requests. There were over-stressed, over-stimulated parents - some threatening loss of privilegs to their small charges, others railing their discontent to their life-partners. All with the PA blasting the line of the "happiest place on earth."

Hmmm...

So is it
a) Disney - the happiest place on earth?
b) Disney - the most over-stimulating place on earth?
c) both of the above?
d) none of the above?
e) some other reality?

I heard from a couple of folks that the link to the Diseny Poto Pass pictures I posted yesterday doesn't work. )-: Sorry about that. Disney and other Florida pictures to come.

Disney Pictures

Happy New Year!!

My goddess, its been a busy month - ranging from Solstice planning, to a religious discrimination issue with Jani's employer over Solstice (again this year - we have engaged an advocate and are moving forward to hopefullly resolve this once and for all), to heading to Florida to visit my folks in Naples and then head to Disney..WOW!!

I have many reflections about all of this - and of course limited time to post. So for now, here's the link to some pictures we had taken at Disney on our Photo Pass. http://www.disneyphotopass.com/photoshareviewer.aspx?share=ce3c46cd-8f09-4818-a13f-3738be11f1f4

We have oodles more that we took of both the Disney part of the trip and our visit to Naples, so will get those in an on-line photo album in the next couple of weeks.

LIttle News Tid-Bits

dateline - Madison, Wisconsin

Our second floor (and part of our first floor) wall repair, painting and wood work refinishing is done!! It looks spectacular!!!! Our bedroom is a very soothing muted sage, girls' bedroom is a relaxing sky blue and their playroom is a vibrant purple. The back stairs and first floor hallway have had major plaster repair and replacement done and are painted a creamy off-white. Of course, now we just want to keep going. One project leads to another...and another...and another in these old homes.

We are reassembling the house. Our bedroom is bad together as is the bathroom (also repainted a bright laurel green). The girls playroom/bedroom flip has not yet happened - we are making strides in that direction though.

Roofing isn't slated to start now until January or February.

In other news, the WI Women Volleyball Badgers won both Friday and Saturday night's first and second round NCAA play-offs. GO BIG RED!!! We were treated to a very exciting game in the Field House on Friday night - especially game one where Notre Dame stood their ground and we had to go to a 36-34 game to finally pull out the win. Saturday night found us adults at Kathy's birthday party at a lovely Bed and Breakfast Inn and Organic Farm in the country, dining on a scrumptious pot luck vegan supper. A good portion of the crowd are v-ball fans, so at 7:15 we flipped open my laptop and watched live feed of the game - even projected it on the wall using a power point projector. We watched a 3 game victory for the Badgers. We all seriously comtemplated hitting the road for Austin, TX for this Friday's game, but decided to settle for meeting together at someone's house with take-out food and our laptops and projector to watch the game together. I would like to now humbly retract any smart-ass comments I've made about people watching sports together in someone's living room, yelling with jubilation at the screen, since I have now joined the ranks of this crowd. If the women manage to make it all the way to the finals, we are actually seriously consdering heading your way, Sonya, as the finals are in Omaha!!

And last headline, I ended up in the ER on the Wednesday evening before Thanksgiving with a severe allergic reaction - eyes swollen shut, fat lips and tongue, still breathing, but not as easily as usual and hives everywhere. To what you ask? I have NO IDEA!! I'm still coated in hives after a week of prednisone and am now on new meds until I can see my doctor next week and get an allergy appointment on the books. I'm now the proud owner of an epi pen. I feel like I'm playing a game of chance, wondering what set off the reaction and what might set it off again.

Why We Arenb't Fans of The Pciture People

We like studio shots every so often - for birthdays and a family picture once every couple of years. We've lucked out with a fantastic local place where we end up with about 50 (literally) 4x6 shots as proofs to keep no matter what we order (for the $25 sitting fee). In the past year or so we've been less pleased (after they switched to digital) with the quality and the photographers seem less inspired (a couple are down right cranky...and our kids aren't hard to photograph, so I can only imagine them with a wiggly toddler). We talked with the manager, who apologized profusely and sweetened the deal with free this and that.

Then Picture People came to town, so we thought we'd give them a whirl. I was appalled to find out that they THROW AWAY whatever you don't buy - and they seem to print the entire package (four or five sheets per shot). The waste seemed horrible to me - not at all green!! So I talked to the managere and told her we'd be willing to try them IF they printed us a proof sheet and not all the wasted prints. Anxious for new customers (as they had just opened) she agreed. She took the pictures herself (nice energy and good photographer). We were very pleased - got the prints we wanted with minimal waste and didn't pay an arm and a leg for stuff we didn't want. We felt good about the experience.

So, we went back this weekend. I talked to the same manager gal as last time to ask her to take the pictures - sure, no problem. She was less inclined to print the proof sheet (they're well established now with booked appointment schedules, so less willing to court customers). But she agreed not to print full photo packages of each print and took way more shots than their usual handful. We were very happy with the pictures - she has a great repport with the kids and a good eye for poses.

The appointment to pick up the pictures SUCKED to put it mildly - we met with a different gal (our gal was off that day). High pressure sales - complete with the attempted guilt tripping for not wanting to buy the tri-print combo with frame. The pose they'd picked for the 10X13 they were pushing was our least favorite (we all had our heads titled - looked like we'd just come off some ride at Disney World). The woman was a really pushy - barely breathed as she's trying to talk us into prints. I finally asked her to step back, so we could think (luckiily we'd looked at our prints on-line so we knew what we wanted - and we'd also figured out who we were buying for ahead of time, so we weren't buying more than what we needed). Gal was p*ssed that we weren't all "ooo and aaaaa - we need 42 of these and 16 of these prints). We got holiday cards, so it wasn'tl like we didn't spend a chunk of change.

Then it came time to get our prints - we left the store, ran an errand and came back in the designated 15 minutes time to find red lines in our prints. Did they bother to proof the pictures before they put them in the envelope? Apparently not. So when our overly-pushy sales gal opened the envelope to review the order, there were these lovely red lines through our prints - not acceptable. So, she hasitly apologized and said she'd have them done again. Just another 10 minutes please. Now our window of time was quickly closing until we needed to hook Gemma up with a friend to go see the Nutcracker and we had to leave - should have left earlier. This now means another trip out to the mall to pick up our prints. Neither Jani nor I are fans of malls - I'd rather walk through hot coals than be in the canned music-filled mall, especially this time of year. And its a 15 minute drive - so not an efficient use of our time or fuel for the van either.

So a call to the manager about our expeirence is on the docket for today - especially given that we need to drive back out to pick up our prints. So I'd love to have pictures to show you all - however its not happening today.

Will we go back to the Picture People after this - NO WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cupcakes

Our school district has a new "health" policy - healthy and nut-free snacks for classrooms, no candy or other junk foods for rewards - basic logical stuff. One day this week I sent a left-over cupcake in Gemma's lunch, figuring she'd love a little treat. That night, the cupcake came home untouched in the lunch box.

Me: "Gemma, you didn't eat your cupcake?"

Gemma: "No, because the prinicpal was in the lunch room and she looked at me funny, because I didn't have a healthy food in my lunch."

Me: "Did you ask the prinicipal if the cupcake was ok or did you just assume it wasn't because she looked at you?"

Gemma: "No, I didn't ask. She just looked at me."

I reassured her that an "every once in a while" treat of a cupcake in her own lunch was not a violation of the health policy. I put the cupcake back in her lunch for the next day.

That night, the cupcake was still in her lunch box. Repeat the above dialogue, only this time it was the classroom teacher that Gemma perceived was angry about the cupcake.

So I again reassured her that I couldn't imagine the cupcake would be an issue, though I suggested she eat it at home after supper before it got stale - it was getting a bit banged up with its many travels to and from school.

I decided it might be time to give the principal a ring to see what her insights might be. Of course it was just as I had imagined - a cupcake in one's own lunch box is not a problem.

The whole incident was just such a reminder to me that
a) these little kindergarteners are still just babes - and so literal in their interpretations - if a grown-up at school told her that they could only bring healthy foods to the classroom, then it must apply in all situations at school.

b) that we need to work with her on how to check out assumptions, rather than rely on a small tidbit of information, with her so she can avoid assuming something that really isn't there.

I felt badly for her, thinking about her trying to quietly slide her cupcake back into her lunch box to avoid getting in trouble, though the story is terribly cute. The institution of school is such a big and some days overwhelming place for these little ones.

Knit 1, Purl 2, Knit 1, Purl 2

I learned to knit when I was Rowan's age - during Junior Girl Scouts with our "knitting grandmas" (older women from our community who had generously donated their time to teach a bunch of girls this carft. I loved it then, my hands wobbly and unsure, yet excited and my eyes big with anticipation about what my first piece would look like when finished. I still remember, it was a medium blue scarf, all done in garter stitch. We dontated them to folks who needed warm winter outter wear as a service project.

Through high school I kept knitting, until I thought I was just too cool for such things and preffered partying with my friends over the click of the needles. While teaching elementary-aged kids, I often taught circles of kids - boys and girls alike - to knit and loved watching their faces as the wonder of those threads of yarn came together into an actual product.

But I haven't made anything really for close to 30 years until I took inspirtation from three women - all of whom sat in community together in the Facilitating by Heart workshop series I co-facilitate. Each brought her project with her, needles flying as we did intense work on deep listening, working through conflict and living and working from a place of integrity when working with others. Their work - both in their knitting and the profound personal work they did during the workshop series - inspired me to pick up my needles once again.

I've been having a ball, surfing the net in search of patterns for things. Lion Brand, bless their hearts, provides many free and lovely patterns. A great place to start for a re-committed stitcher. My first projects were hats for the girls, as we approach this cold time of year.
As I walked into the yarn shop (a local place - I much prefer local over chain stores), my heart just sang. The shop is tiny, a narrow strip of a place, the left and right facing walls are filled with skeins upon skeins of yarn from the top of the 10 foot ceilings to the floor. The smell and sight of it all is intoxicating. I quickly zoned in on the type of yarns I needed for the hats - thick, chunky stuff - and selected colors just right for each girl. I happily proceeded to the counter to purchase it and needles like a kid in a candy store.
My Thanksgiving weekend was filled with hat making. A pink one for Gemma (of course) a blue multi-colored one for Rowan and then two additions for two of their cousins. I thought Jani had gotten a picture of the girls in their hats, but can't find it in our photo files, so we'll have to snap another.

My next project - a hood for Jani. She just needs to choose her yarn and a stitchin' we will go.

Go Bucky

If you are looking for us this weekend, look no further than the University of Wisconsin Field House, because our Badger Women's Volleyball team was awarded the privilege of hosting the first and second rounds of the NCAA play-offs.
We'll be happily snuggled all up in our RED
While visions of POINT WISCONSIN and victory dance in our HEADS!!

Our Family

Photo taken at Thanksgiving at Jani's folks' house in Freeport. For those that don't "know" us - (from left to right) Rowan, age 8, Jani, Denise and Gemma, age 5.

'Tis The Season

...for remodeling!!

As we enter into the dark days and long nights of late fall before the Winter Solstice, we decided it was time to turn our energies inward (inside the house) and start another remodeling project in our much-loved 1886 Queen Anne house. This one is a tad simpler than the last - it involves no moving of walls, rewiring or new plumbing. We are having most of the second floor rooms repainted.

As the sun gets ready for his re-birth on the Solstice, we are excited to begin a-new in our more intimate living spaces - the bedrooms. The girls are leaving their current bedroom (a small and cozy space) for a larger room with a bay window. We offered them each their own room and they declined, saying they[d be too lonely at night without the other. A very sweet sentiment to be remembered in those moments when the sister spats are running high. Their former bedroom will become their playroom, thus relegating toys to a more enclosed room. Anyone who has ever set foot in this house knows the kid-energy is everywhere - the place looks like a Waldorf school - with kid-created art adorning the walls and little alters of stones and feathers on any horizontal surface available. However, it will be great to have the toys (all those fairy villages, Barbie condos and My Pretty Ponies) residing in their lovely new purple playroom. The girls decided to keep their night sky ceiling (a dark blue with stars) in the playroom. It will be interesting to see how the purple and blue go together. Their bedroom will be a medium blue (like the twilight night sky). They want murals of trees painted on the walls, so it looks like they are sleeping outside. Mine and Jani's room will be a sage green.

We've hired a paint crew to do the work. As much as I love hands-on things, left for us to do, it just wasn't happening. Too many other things marched themselves higher on the priority list for weekends (like playing and having a good time with the family). It was very important for us to hire folks with really nice energy, as not only do they leave paint on the walls and woodwork, they leave their energy print too. These guys are very sweet and are doing a great job. Yesterday's task was the woodwork and it looks extrordinary!!!

We're also getting a new "lid" (aka roof) on the house. Any day now the roofers should arrive.

Pictures will come as the rooms are completed.

Swim Meet

Rowan

Rowan with her Second Place Ribon for her 25 yard Freestyle and Third Place for her 25 yard Breast Stroke. Her favorite part of the meet - swimming - she wished she'd signed up for more heats.

Gemma

Gemma wearing her achievement metal after her non-competitive swim. Her favorite part of the meet - standing on the dias to get her picture taken.

Point Wisconsin!!

Yes fans, we are at the height of University of Wisconsin Badger Volleyball season and those who know us, know that you'll usually find our family at the Field House on Friday and Saturday nights cheering on these women. One of the favorite parts of the volleyball experience for me is the grace of these young women after the games - singing Varsity surrounded by their young fans and hanging out on the court to greet people and sign autographs. Caty DuPont (a freshman outsider hitter) has scooped up Gemma to hold while singing Varsity and generously allowed a picture afterward. She's scooped up Gemma on more than one ocassion post game.

I also love the game for its wonderful excitement and upbeat fans. It would be hard to imagine being bored at a UW volleyball game and I appreciate that the fans take the emotional high ground, cheering on the team with enthusiams - rather than complaining or criticism.

Now one might say its easy to be enthusiastic, because the Badgers are doing quite well!! We are tied for the #2 position in the Big Ten Conference with the Minnesota Gofers. Our last loss was against them on their home court on October 18. Now they visit our home court on a rare Wednesday night game tomorrow night. Forget swimming lessons, piano practice and any of that usual mid-week evening rituals - we are off to the Field House for some fun and excitement!

GO BIG RED!!!!!!!! We're looking for sole posession of that #2 spot right behind Penn State!!

Scootering for Social Justice

The weekend before the election, we walked a suburban neighborhood with the Fair Wisconsin Get Out the Vote Campaign. Rowan's task was to find the "no" vote identified houses (we had a list).

On a More LIght Hearted Election Day Note

We were at the polls last evening to vote. We always go to vote when we bring the kids, because we hope to instill the behavior of voting in them from an early age and because they love to go with us. Gemma usually stands on a chair, so she can see the ballot. Typically our voting booth conversations with her have consisted of how the marking pen works, how the computer records the votes, etc. Well, that was all before she learned something about reading. As I marked by ballot on the four yes/no questions, I hear her sing out loud enough for most everyone to hear "Mom, how come you marked "no" on those two questions and "yes" on those other two?" I hear lots of adult nuffled chuckling going on around me and think "oops, we didn't have that conversation about keeping one's votes private while at the polling site." This all led to quite an interesting discussion about why we make our opinions very apparent with our yard signs and with working on campaigns, but keep them private while in the polling area. Never a dull moment around here!!

Standing in the Threshold: Reflections on the Morning After Wisconsin Passes a Constitutional Ban Against Same-Sex Marriage and Civil Unions

Bittersweet would be the simple and rather cliché way to describe how I’m feeling o this post-election morning. I’m experiencing feelings much more intense and complex that can be captured with just one word – proud, angry, grateful, grief-filled, hopeful, rage-filled, heart-broken, exhausted, and enlivened.

My pride is huge. Even though our constitutional ban passed, my pride in the citizens of Wisconsin fills my heart. I am proud that

• Ten thousand of us stepped forward around the state to volunteer - take time off work or give up our free time to make phone calls, walk door-to-door, enter data and basically do whatever was asked of us.
• 450,000 Wisconsin citizens voted “no” on this constitutional ban.
• The Fair Wisconsin campaign ads were positive and conveyed a sense of compassion and dignity – not fear and manipulation.
• Our straight allies “outted themselves” publicly as allies and saw this issue as one of basic human rights; not just a “fringe” issue.
• Many of us had difficult and moving conversations with friends, family and complete strangers about our private lives – our families – to help build understanding, open the doors to communication and dispel the myths.
• Such a diversity of people stepped forward to say no to discrimination – a diversity of ages from our eight year old daughter riding her scooter ahead of us to point out which houses we needed to visit on our canvas list, to the high school aged students working the phones after school, to elderly folks who’d never worked a phone bank in their lives – across race and disability and class – amazing!!

My gratitude flows right from my pride. I am profoundly appreciative of –

• The people we may have contacted numerous times through phone and door knocking, who treated us with dignity – thanking us for our dedication – who didn’t feel compelled to be slam down the phone or the door, who opened their hearts no matter the number of contacts.
• The organizations that offered their space so that phone banks and staging areas could be set up around the state.
• The religious leaders who spoke out against the ban – naming the truth about what really threatens Wisconsin families – poverty, unequal access to education, addiction.
• The people who brought us food, coffee, water and soda as we spent hours with phones glued to our ears.
• Those who find this work so very challenging – right out of their comfort zone – who did it anyway because they understood why it had to be done.
• The young woman who called me while I was making phone calls. I had called her to remind her to vote. Shortly after we’d hung up, my phone bank extension rang – not a typical happening. When I picked up, it was the young woman, asking where she could go to help.
• The poll workers who had a long day too – with our city voter turn-out high, they saw a steady stream of voters and got very few breaks in their 13 + hour day.
• The staffers at Fair Wisconsin and Action Wisconsin who have worked insane hours, often running on empty themselves, to keep things moving.
• The young woman who worked our call site, who enlarged all my phone lists to make them easier to read, found comfortable seating for the person with her leg in a cast and open space for someone else in a wheelchair to accommodate or diverse needs so we could be effective in what we were doing.
• Those who I know and those who I've never met who donated money and sponsored house parties as fundraisers.
• Again, those known to me and those not who found their center and their courage to talk about this issue and whose stories we may never know.
• The friend who sent me a beautiful Maya Angelou poem this morning that really speaks to the bittersweet ness of this day.
• The other friend who called to offer her support as I go into another day tomorrow of meeting new clients and working with them around the importance of respect and care of differences.
• And still another friend who I swapped stories of pride with about our two different campaigning experiences.
• My partner and my children – just because they are my family.

Often the big picture optimist, I also feel hopeful, because –

• The issue of fair treatment of Wisconsin’s gay, lesbian and bisexual citizens and our families is no longer a “closeted” issue and that we have gained some amazing allies along the way.
• I believe the tide may be turning – albeit if slowly – on our political climate. I feel hopeful to see our democratic governor re-elected, see us gain some seats back in our state legislature and see the House of Representatives again turn in a fair-minded direction.
• The candidates here who aligned themselves with our issues were elected handily to their offices, despite being told that they would be committing political “suicide” by standing up for “gay rights.”
• 70% of voters under the age of 30 voted against the constitutional ban.
• So many young voters turned out at the polls, many voting for the first time in their lives. A friend who worked a polling place on the University of Wisconsin campus reported taking many pictures of students voting (at their request) for the young people to text message off to friends and family – very proud of themselves for voting.
  

Along with these feelings that fill my heart co-exist the ones that sadden and burden my heart.

I am angry, because –

• The Associated Press called the results early in the game – before our polls were even all officially closed! We had one polling site still open under a judge’s order. The site (a high school on our side of town) had received a bomb threat earlier in the day. The building, including the 2,400 students, the faculty and all pollsters had to be evacuated. All voting machines were moved outside and voting continued while the building was searched for explosives. The site was allowed to stay open an extra hour to accommodate the transition out and then back into the building. That site still had ten more minutes to accept voters by the time the AP had called the election.
• The State Elections Board distributed voter registration information that was unclear and confusing. I don't believe this had anything to do with the outcome of the election - it just troubles me greatly that with something so important more care wasn't taken in conveying a complete and accurate message.
• The “yes” campaign” people would not let any press into their “victory” party last night – while I try very hard in my life to not run up my escalator of assumptions too quickly, it does beg the question of why this was a “closed door” event.
• Despite having record turn-outs in many places around the state – particularly in our county which was really pushing for the “no” vote on the amendment, we still saw only about a 50% turn-out and we think this is “good.” There are places in the world where people travel miles to vote and risk their lives. There are countries that declare Election Day as a holiday to create more equal access to voting – and we’ve become so complacent that if the weather is bad, the lines or too long or we’re just “too busy” we don’t step up to participate in the political process.

My anger taps into my rage – rage that

• This ban was even put forth in the first place – that key leaders used a “hot button” and emotional issue for their own gain. While the voters of the state of Wisconsin are starting to see these people for what they are (some of most hateful people lost their seats), they have carved out their legacy and it will take time and energy to undo the damage.
• Fear was the motivating theme used by the “yes” campaign.
• Ignorance of the law was used to manipulate voters. In Wisconsin before the constitutional amendment even passed, it was illegal for same-sex couples to marry and our state does not recognize civil unions granted in other states. This constitutional change just thickens the layers of pollution – illegal is illegal. And it risks the benefits we do hold through domestic partnerships.
• Despite many logical and well-researched arguments from diverse communities (business leaders, educational leaders, some religious leaders) that this ban would be bad for Wisconsin citizens in the end, people either operated out of fear or didn’t fully examine their decision and voted “yes.” So much for logic and deductive reasoning.
• Discrimination based on people’s differences continues to exist at all and that homophobia through jokes, slurs, emotional and physical violence is still allowed to exist in our society – in families, schools, work places and the larger community.
• People use their religion to wield weapons of hatred. My understanding of Jesus’ teachings is that they are about acceptance and compassion (perhaps I missed something at Vacation Bible School). I can’t help but think Jesus would be jumping off his cross in a fit of rage to witness the hatred all wrapped up in his name.
• The true threats to our families – poverty, discrimination, unequal access to education and chemical addiction still exist and people still wring their hands over what to do about these issues.

I have incredible grief and heart-ache when –

• I look into the big round bewildered eyes of my daughters as they try to comprehend why people would even want to create a ban against our family in the first place and then why people would vote to constitutionalize it. Our older daughter questions why we say “liberty and justice for all” during the pledge when we vote to make sure it is not true.
• I think about the elderly woman I talked with yesterday who said she’d already voted and that she’d voted for the ban – using a tone of voice that radiated “so there you go missy” and I think what her life must be like if she takes pride and finds satisfaction in the disparaging and unkind way she talked to me. Is her life experience so disempowered that she needs to take solace in making sure she lets me know she has treated badly (I am less troubled by her vote than her behavior on the phone).
• I think of the countless hours spent defending people’s basic human rights when we could be doing other things – like caring for the sick, teaching, reading to our children, caring for the environment, singing, walking in the woods, enjoying life.
• I think of the tens of thousands of us who dedicate our professional and personal lives to social justice as we witness backlash moments like this. To quote myself on something else I wrote awhile back “it’s like spitting in the ocean and expecting the pH level to change.”

I feel exhausted –

• My ears literally have sores on them from holding a phone to them for hours/days on end.
• My eyes are tired from reading lists of numbers and addresses. I have renewed respect for those working at substandard wage, whose livelihood is dependend on telemarketing, after all of these phone calls.
• I’m tired from sleepless nights wondering what the day-to-day ramifications of this will be – will we lose my health insurance, will we lose Gemma’s

And amazingly, I also feel enlivened to keep going, to take what is hopeful and what I’m proud of to gather those allies and to hitch a ride on that hoped for turn of the political tide. Often when I introduce myself to new client groups I tell them that I do this work because of my daughters and all children – that I want to help hand them a legacy where compassion and respect for all people are the norm – an everyday occurrence. So as one friend said to me this morning, “we stand at yet another threshold” and I wonder how will be walk through it and which path will be follow.

VOTE TODAY!! TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 7

Been to the polls yet today???

If it is before 8:00 this evening it is not too late!!!!

Not sure where to vote?

Not a problem. Call your local League of Women Voters or your City/Town Clerk's Office to find out where your polling place is. In Wisconsin you can register at the polls. Just bing proof of residency with you if you'e never registered before.

Not happy with the way things currently are in your town, city, county, state or country?

Then register your desires, wants, needs through your right and responsibility to vote.

Want to do more than just vote, but you assume it is too late to volunteer??

It is quite likely that you can call an organization or candidate's office of your choosing and help them out with phone calls, door-to-door Get Out the Vote canvassing or driving voters to the polls. There is always work to be done and it is fun!

...I'm off for another day of Get Out the Vote Phone Banking!!

...And I'm keeping my heart open and fingers crossed that a FAIR WISCONSIN votes NO on the CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT to BAN Same-Sex Marriage and Civil Unions.

Halloween Costume Parade

Gemma as Professor McGonagall in Cat Form

Here is Gemma in costume 657!! She's ranged this Halloween from the Easter Bunny, to a "fashion witch" to an old-fashioned girl, to a cat to Professor McGonagall transfigured into a cat!