Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Gemma STory

As anyone who knows Gemma well (or even just a little big) knows, she has a knack for the dramatic. I guess that is what happens when you choose a Theater and Drama major for a sperm donor!!

While we were at Jani's folks for Thanksgiving, she got very angry with Grandma. She and her cousin were caught jumping on Grandma's bed. Grandma handled the situation wonderfully; a firm boundary was set with a reason given for why jumping on the bed was not allowable.

Gemma came to find me, very disgruntled with Grandma and declaring that she "wanted to leave this house this instant!" I told her that I supported Grandma's decision and in her shoes, I would have said the exact same thing. She next headed off to Jani to see if she could garner support there. None given. She looked for a moment at Aunt Cindy, but let it go.

Her next line of defense was to engage her cousin, who is six months her senior. Apparently she told Alyssa to tell Grandma that she was mad at her, because the next thing we all heard was Alyssa saying "Grandma, Gemma told me to tell you she's mad at you."

Grandma again did an outstanding job, addressing Gemma directly, who of course was standing right next to Alyssa. She validated Gemma's feelings and reinforced why jumping on the bed wasnt' ok and offered other ideas of things to do.

Gemma came back to me, looking sour at not being properly vindicated. When I suggested that she move and let it go, her reply was "you know mom, that I hold onto stuff for a long time. I'm not ready to let go of ;this yet."

HELP! Can you imagine this child at 14!!! Funny what the world dishes out..I get to use every single skill I every learned about child developent, dealing with conflict, communication differences, etc. with this child. She provides my daily practice in patience and centered thinking/responding.

Denise, who is "sure" she was "never" as head-strong as a small child.


Betsy said...

Gemma sounds very much like my daughter Zoe, who insists that her 'heart is breaking' when presented with an option not to her liking.

Welcome to the wonderful world of blogs...!

Lois said...

Maybe she's getting all of her drama out when she's young? You'll have a prefectly pleasant 14 year old perhaps? It's so good that she has you and Jani as parents!

Sonya said...

Wonderful story! It really scares me to think of the teen years. I can only imagine what we are in store for.